Loneliness
by MegTDJ
Summary: Janet fears that Daniel isn't handling his wife's death as well as he claims to be. 18 in the Love Comes Softly series.


Title: Loneliness  
Author: MegTDJ  
Category: Missing scene; drama  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Daniel/Sha're, Daniel/Janet pre-ship   
Spoilers: Forever in a Day  
Summary: Janet fears that Daniel isn't handling his wife's death as well as he claims to be. #18 in the Love Comes Softly series.  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1, its universe and its characters are not mine. The story itself is, however, so please don't archive without my permission.

Author's notes: Wow, it's been almost five months since I've worked on this series. This is just a short one, but hopefully writing it got me back into the swing of things.

Thanks as always to Kerri, and also to everybody who pestered me to write another fic for this series. I'll get to the good stuff soon, I promise!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Loneliness**

Janet broke from her respectful military stance for just a moment to wipe away a tear as Sha're's body was covered with sand. The Abydonian burial ceremony had been beautiful, but it was the sorrow and loneliness on Daniel and Kasuf's faces that was tearing her apart.

Not to mention the sizeable crowd of Abydonians who were every bit as grief-stricken as Sha're's family. Seeing what an impact this woman had made on the lives around her made Janet wish more than ever that she could have known her. The thought that this was no longer a possibility brought another tear to her eye. Daniel's quest had ended much too abruptly.

The funeral came to a quiet end, and Janet watched as Daniel wandered away from the crowd without speaking to anyone. He'd done a lot of that in the two days since his wife's death - walking away from everyone without a word. Janet wasn't sure how often his teammates had tried in vain to talk to him, but she noticed that now they weren't even trying. "Give him a few days," Colonel O'Neill had said. "He'll come around."

Janet wasn't so sure.

She followed him as he disappeared behind one of the tents nearby, not wanting to invade his privacy but anxious to know whether he was really taking this as well as he said he was. It became clear that he wasn't when she rounded the corner and found him standing there staring into space with an almost trance-like look on his face.

"Daniel?" she said tentatively. "Are you alright?"

He didn't move his head or react to her presence at all until a few seconds had passed. "Yeah," he finally said in an absent voice. "I've got the worst case of déjà vu I've ever had in my life, but other than that... I'm fine."

Janet studied him closely for a long moment before she allowed herself to relax. Aside from the faraway look in his eyes, he really did seem fine. At least he was talking now.

She took a deep breath as she tried to think of something to say to keep the conversation going. "She... must have been an amazing woman," she said, wincing slightly for fear that she was saying the wrong thing.

Daniel didn't seem fazed by the comment. "She was," he said with a nod. He looked down at her then, but didn't return the smile she gave him. He sighed and started to walk slowly back the way he'd come. "In the... dream," he said, tacitly inviting Janet to walk with him, "this was about the time that she appeared and told me about the Harcesis. I keep expecting her to step out from behind something and tell me it was all just a bad dream. That must sound crazy, huh?"

"No, of course not."

Daniel stopped and looked out at the desert sand again. "Jack seems to think so," he said. "He didn't seem to buy the whole dream thing."

"Well, you know Colonel O'Neill," Janet said. "He believes you, Daniel, he just... has a hard time showing what he feels."

"Yeah," Daniel muttered. He looked over at his teammates as they stood talking to Kasuf by Sha're's grave, and Janet was surprised to see a hint of bitterness and anger in his expression. She couldn't tell whether he was directing it at Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c, or all of them in general. "Look," he said a moment later, turning back to Janet and rubbing his forehead wearily, "I'm sorry if this comes across as rude, but I'd really like to be alone right now."

"Right, of course. I'll..." But Daniel had already walked away before she'd even begun to speak. "...see you back on Earth," she finished to herself. She sighed. It was going to be a long healing process, she could tell.

She glanced back at the rest of SG-1 just in time to see the pained look on Teal'c's face as he watched his friend walk away. It suddenly occurred to her then that all four of them needed to heal both as individuals and as a group before they could put this behind them. Daniel may have gone through the motions of forgiving Teal'c, but would they ever be able to look at each other without thinking of Sha're? Would Colonel O'Neill and Sam be forced to pick up the pieces if they couldn't? What if Colonel O'Neill continued to roll his eyes at the mention of the Harcesis? Would Daniel consider leaving the team altogether?

Would the surrogate family she'd come to know and love ever be the same again?

Suddenly, Janet felt just as lost and alone as Daniel had seemed. She cursed Ammonet with all her might for forcing Teal'c to fire on Sha're. If only they'd been able to save her...

"Come on, Doc," she heard Colonel O'Neill call as he and the others started walking in the direction of the gate. "We're heading back."

Janet glanced over her shoulder to where she'd last seen Daniel. "But what about..."

"Daniel will come back when he's ready," O'Neill said. He kept on walking, but Janet could tell that he was reluctant to go. "I think he just needs some alone time."

Janet nodded and hurried to catch up with the others, but she turned back every few seconds to see if she could see Daniel. No such luck.

She didn't feel right leaving without him, but she knew that Colonel O'Neill had a point. She just hoped that Daniel's "alone time" did him some good, and that when he came back he would finally start embracing the help that his friends tried to give him. And even if he didn't, Janet resolved to make sure that he kept on receiving it no matter how many times he pushed them away.

The End


End file.
